It’s been a while since I wrote up an update about how my life is going, how my back treatment is progressing and life in general. The truth is I guess I’m not 100% sure. I travel too much, I do too many things, I change my routine too much. Those things haven’t changed and they’re probably the greatest impediments to progressing.
In my last article, I wrote about how angry I was and how hard I was finding it to accept that my body is currently limited but right after that I started travelling for business and fashion weeks once. When I’m away, I want to see and do everything, I suffer from fear of missing out which means I feel that if there is a corner unexplored, a restaurant not sampled, a shop not shopped at, I almost feel guilty. At fashion week I want to attend every show, every presentation. My body can’t really handle this. I’m meant to walk for a maximum of 20 minutes without stopping to rest for a few minutes but I keep breaking this rule. I’m not meant to carry heavy bags but I break that one frequently too. I’m meant to do rehab exercises at the gym but I don’t always find gyms when I’m away.
There has been progress, I’d be lying if I said otherwise but it feels slow and frustrating and even though I know my life is my greatest impediment I’m not quite sure I can/want to change it.
I’ve mentioned my trainer Stephen Moghrabi at Niumee who is also my massage therapist – he should probably get the award for patience. I swing between – ‘erm I’m now leaving for 3 weeks to ‘but why isn’t this going faster’ yet he keeps dedicating time to me and for that, I can’t thank him enough, if it weren’t for him I think I’d be a 100 times worse right now. He’s forced me to listen and perform exercise routines that a part of me finds too basic, stupid but somehow effective.
I’m hoping that the start to 2018 will be calmer and that I’ll find more time to dedicate to healing myself. The sad truth is I do enjoy my life, I do enjoy the rush and madness of it all – I just want my body to work.
I shot these selfie pics in the gym one morning before my workout, I was feeling good because I had just worn a new Diadora gym outfit and new clothes make me happy. I was also wearing makeup – I never wear makeup to workout, it’s apparently not great for your pores but PUPA have just released a line specifically designed to workout it. All I have on here is some concealer under my eyes, powder and mascara.
Clothes – Diadora – Teamsport Malta
Shoes – Nike – Teamsport Malta
Location – Niumee Malta
Nails – Beauty Inc by Sue